the end of the chapter

I have always said I lost my dad years ago but yesterday I lost my dad for the last time. I grieved his loss in my life many years ago. Honestly, I’m kinda numb right now. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel losing both my parents in less than 12 months. Even though I have not spoken to my dad in years, let alone seen him in probably 9 years he is my father and raised me until I was 14 when he left (there’s a lot more to that story).

This is really the end of probably the most life-altering, painful and disappointing chapter of my life. My father’s abandonment has effected me in ways I never anticipated. And just now I am realizing for the first time that when my kids get married or graduate from college that there will be no one from my side of the family there. When Bryan and I are sitting together as the groom’s family or bride’s family‚Ķ.I won’t have one of my parents there to support me or celebrate with. I. Am. It.

God, however, has continued to love me as a good Father and reached out to me in unexpected ways. I am so grateful for His amazing, redemptive grace to me, his daughter.

So thus ends this chapter.

May you rest in peace dad.